If We Were on a Coffee Date | vol. 7


If we were on a coffee date, we'd me meeting at the Second Cup near my work. This week, no scratch that, this entire month I've been devoted to work. Even though I am a part-time worker, I've been trying to pick up as many shifts as I can. So, why not make it easier for me (sorry.. if you have to travel far) and just meet up somewhere closer to my work. I mean, I'll most likely have a shift after our coffee date anyways. 

If we were on a coffee date, I'd be drinking a frozen/iced hot chocolate. I know the point of going on a coffee date is to meet up and have coffee... But, if you haven't tried this, oh my, you really are missing out. At first I was not too impressed at the idea of hot chocolate being cold... but, wow. It actually tastes amazing and it is absolutely perfect for the extremely hot weather we've been having here in Toronto. YUM. I've literally been spending all my spare change on this! 

If we were on a coffee date, I'd tell you that my cousin from France is flying in! This is kind of exciting news for me. The last time we saw each other was a couple of years ago when she flew into Toronto on her own. During her time here we took her to all sorts of places. Before her coming to Toronto, we actually also spent a few days with her in Paris, France, when my family took a trip up there couple years back. But, this time will be different. She's bringing her husband, whom I'm kind of excited to meet.

If we were on a coffee date, I'd confess that I'm a bit scared for September. All my friends are going back to school. And, this is the first time I'm literally not taking any sort of classes to keep my brain from plateauing. I do start school for nursing in January. So, I'm really hoping that the next few months will be a good relaxing period before the hectic school years begins. I really don't want the next few months to fuel my laziness and then go back to the school in January feeling lazy and not mentally prepared. Does that make sense?  

If we were on a coffee date, I'd ask how August was for you. August was such a rollercoaster for me. Some days flew, and some days were just way too long. So, I really cannot say whether August went by fast or not... There was just a lot happening, and I was wondering if you felt  the same.

If we were on a coffee date, I'd tell you that I'm participating in the #blogtember challenge! This is the third year Bailey from Brave Love Blog will be hosting this blogging challenge. In the past years I did participate, but not to the full extent. My goal this time around is to participate in more than half of the prompts! I'm really excited for this challenge. I was quickly going through some of the prompts and (as usual) their perfect! I've already got the next two posts ready and scheduled! One of them includes a video! Yay!

What about you? What would you tell me on our coffee date?

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She's Not A "Best" Friend.

This post is hard to write. All I know is that I am hurt. I am sadden...

Over the past couple of weeks (months maybe...),  I've been in denial. I've been in denial over facing my feelings: I no longer want any sort of contact with my so-called best friend. Let's name her... Nina. I've literally stopped replying to all of her messages, from whatsapp to snapchat, and I've been a bit more colder in person.

Looking back, I think it is fair to say that there are a number of situations which left me with such a wrong impression of Nina. From the way she speaks about her friends, or speaks towards others, or gets herself involved in other people's business... we are just two completely different people now. 

Her actions towards others aside, I've realized that I learned to tolerate her "jokes" towards others and myself. Perhaps, at first, they were funny, I'll give her that. But, lately, thinking back to past and more recent "jokes", I realized that they were actual digs!


Whenever we would hang out wherever, she would make comments like, "oh, I hate when I get pimples, I look so ugly." Or use the pronoun "us" to not really single someone out in the group like, "omg, we look so ugly today!" But, she never held out a mirror looking at her reflection when saying these type of comments... She would either be looking at me, or the third or fourth friend hanging out with us that day, who just so happen to have a big pimple on their cheek that very same day... 

But, I never really took notice any of it until it was a comment directed towards me. She wanted to take photos at place with a beautiful spray-painted wall. I felt so pretty that day, and I was eager to get in a new Facebook profile picture. But, when posing and giving my best smile, she made a few comments, "Why are you giving a fake smile?"... "be pretty"... "can you smile better?"

This might not sound like a big deal to you, but this actually shot my confidence down... immediately.

I could no longer just smile in general the rest of the day. I remember snapping at her saying, "you can't tell me I'm fake smiling when I'm giving my best smile. Thanks for pretty much saying I clearly don't look good today." I remember her kind of laughing it off, which just made me so angry. And, she immediately told me go back so she can take a good picture. I just left. I honestly couldn't deal with it.

I spoke to others about the situation. Some were saying, "Common... that's just Nina. That's how she is." Well, if that's how she is, I really don't want to associate or be around someone who constantly brings my confidence down. I already struggle enough with my look because of my weight... I don't need someone to take what I love about myself, and tear it down and make it into an insecurity...

I'm sure you've noticed... my instagram is no longer even filled with selfies. And, when I do take a pic of myself (which is rarely), I am not even looking into the camera with a wide smile showing teeth...

You really cannot call someone a friend, let alone a best friend, if they are making you feel self-conscious and less confident about yourself... even if it is intentional or unintentional. I just don't want any part of it.


And, like I said, this situation may seem like nothing to you, but my sister likes to describe it as the straw that broke the camel's back.

She tried apologizing to me.... OVER WHATSAPP. But, it wasn't even a good apology... it was like she was justifying herself. 
"yo my bad man. I didnt mean to put yu on spot. I Gueninely just made a comment."
Word for word. Punctuation for punctuation. Spelling for spelling. What a great apology...

She's done shady things to me in the past. Like tell some of my secrets to some of her other friends, who joyfully bring it up to me as if I told them my story myself... And, she's told me serious secrets about her friends. I'm not even kidding... She once told me her friend tried to overdosed herself because of blah blah blah... what kind of friend does that? Someone come to you in confidence and you just sh*t all over that trust and broadcast it to others?

I could only image what others know about me.

I'm just over it. I no longer want to surround myself with people like her. I'm trying to live a positive life, and this is the first time I'm expressing my feelings out loud about this mess of a friendship. And, it feels great to get everything out of my system. Well, almost everything... there's are many things she's done that is way too long for this post. And, I refuse to write 10+ posts talking about it all.

I'm ready to start a new chapter, without her. 

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What a Weekend!


Is it really Monday already? I only ask because this past weekend was not only eventful, but tiring as well! This past weekend consisted of two weddings, and one (really) long hike!

I came home Friday, Saturday, and Sunday extremely exhausted.  I literally fell asleep the moment my head touched my pillow. There was just a lot happening! However, I really shouldn't complain. Over the course of the summer, the majority of my weekends consisted of just relaxing at home or working or going out for a couple of hours on a Saturday night. So, this past weekend was really such a good change of pace. 


On Friday, my God Brother/cousin (2nd cousin?) finally tied the knot to his beautiful bride. What got me the most was the fact that they've been dating for 10 years! I was literally in denial thinking back to the first time I heard about his girlfriend - I was 11 years old. Time flies, and I'm really happy that they get to have many more years together. 

I unfortunately did not attend the wedding ceremony part at the church, I did however attend their reception. I have to say, their wedding reception was beautiful and organized (for once)! Unlike other brown family parties that I've attended, which are literally 2 hours behind, everything was all timed out perfectly! I even loved the fact that they took the time to decide the seating arrangements! It was all to perfect. (This all might be a norm for you at weddings and functions, but not for brown fam jams. Trust me.)


My phone was dying fast that Friday night all because snapchat was being dumb and not posting anything. So by the time we were 2 hours into the wedding, I gave up on snapchat only to find myself with 36% battery left for the rest of the night. Usually I wouldn't mind because I have a backup charger, but that decided to break when I accidentally dropped it earlier when trying to get into the car. So, I unfortunately did not take too my pictures. 


The main cousins and I, as per usual, took photos of each other in our outfits. And, I wore a beautiful pink coloured saree that was simple yet chic. I love simplicity. I also love wearing a saree blouse that is completely different from the saree material and material. Oh, plus the colour of my hair looked absolutely perfect with my saree. Everything little detail really did tie in together properly.

The very next morning, my other cousin decided to get married! I'm not very close with her (anymore), but we still attended and I was genuinely very happy for her and her hubby. They were actually very cute together! You can very well see the love they have for each other, and they both looked absolutely stunning! 

They, as a couple, are very low-key. I'm not entirely sure why, but they decided to pass on having a wedding ceremony at a church. Instead, they had a wedding registration in a hall with only 100 of their "closest" family. Very different from the wedding from the night before. But, nevertheless, it was still a beautiful ceremony.


I decided to pass on wearing a saree, and instead wear a completely different style. To be honest, I forgot what this style is called, but it's a two piece as you can see in the photos above. Like a saree, I wore a blouse, but unlike a saree, I wore a long skirt and a shall. I think this was a great decision, especially since the night before we didn't get home until very late. And, because my mom is Filippina and doesn't know how to wrap me in a saree, I would have had to travel to my aunt's house early in the morning to help me get dressed. So, wearing this was easy to slip on. The only struggle was the waking up part! 


I felt bad about my energy through the wedding though. Because of the late night and early wake up, I didn't feel like me. I was much more quiet. And a little more sassier (okay.. maybe more meaner) than usual.  I guess I was just exhausted. I was definitely not all talks and smiles.

One amazing thing about this wedding was meeting so many family members that knew both my sister and I in our "early days", as they like to describe. A lot of them were also telling us about them being at my parents wedding. I even met one of my mother's bridesmaid. Weird... not exactly sure about the story there and why our families haven't spoken in all the years... My parents were very dismissive about the whole thing as well... weird. But, it was still great to meet other family members. 

That day, I went home, and fell asleep. I didn't wake up until Sunday. 12+ hours of sleep still did not feel like it was enough!  


Sunday, was a bit more of a "relaxing" day. I woke up early, and went on a hike. I actually went back to a location that I did not complete. Again, I didn't get to complete it. This trail had a lot of up and down hills, and found myself having a lot of back pain during the uphills. Because it was my back, we decided to call it quits and hit up a different venue. 

I also got the chance to watch Don't Breathe in theatres, which just came out this weekend. And, what a great thriller that was! I usually love thrillers anyways, but this was on a different level for me. I was actually at the edge of my seat constantly guessing what would happen next, and then be surprised when it went in a completely different direction. An amazing movie! (watch there trailer HERE).

Afterwards, I went grocery shopping before hitting the gym and focused a lot of my back (due to earlier pains). I'm not sure if it helped, but I definitely will be going back to the gym later today. 

So, there you go! Today's post was a bit longer than usual, but hey, I'm blogging on a Monday after an exhausting weekend. And, you're here reading it! So yay us for being some go-getters on a Monday! 

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Book Review: Tell Me three Things by Julie Buxbaum



My Rating: 
Genre: young adult, contemporary, romance, fiction, realistic fiction 

SUMMARY:
According to Goodreads:
Everything about Jessie is wrong. At least, that's what it feels like during her first week of junior year at her new ultra-intimidating prep school in Los Angeles. Just when she's thinking about hightailing it back to Chicago, she gets an email from a person calling themselves Somebody/Nobody (SN for short), offering to help her navigate the wilds of Wood Valley High School. Is it an elaborate hoax? OR can she rely on SN for some much-needed help?
It's been barely two years since her mother's death, and because her father eloped with a woman he met online, Jessie has been forced to move across the country to live with her step monster and her pretentious teenage son.
In a leap of faith - or an act of complete desperation - Jessie begins to rely on SN, and SN quickly becomes her lifeline and closest ally. Jessie can't help wanting to meet SN in person. But are some mysteries better left unsolved?
Julie Buxbaum mixes comedy and trade, love and loss, pain and elation, in her YA novel filled with characters who will come to feel like friends.

MY THOUGHTS:

I won't lie to you, but one of the reasons I decided to pick up this book was because of the many pretty pictures I found myself scrolling through on instagram. I remembering thinking to myself, what book is this?, and what's with all the hype? I actually looked through more pictures on insta, and went on Goodreads and found myself admiring the simplicity of the book cover, and instantly decided to try it out.

What a great decision that was! 


I absolutely loved Tell Me Three Things! It was such a quick and easy read - it literally took me like a 2 days or so (with work in between). I think the main reason why it was fast read was because of the writing. Julie Buxbaum provided a mixture of regular paragraph writings with texting, IM's and email messages. So, reading through the conversations between the characters via electronic outlet was just as easy as reading through my own messages.

Also, from Jessie to Theo to SN, I loved all the characters. Their lives and behaviour just seemed so realistic. Of course each character may have a flaw that I personally disliked, but isn't that how it is in the real world as well? I do have to say, a lot of the critics I read online found the main character Jessie to be selfish. I personally thought she should be selfish. She was literally going through many changes, i.e., adjusting to a new school, a new family, a new city, all of which she really had no choice not to go along with to begin with.  But, she did have her goofy moments which made me relate to her even more! I love when I relate to characters, I guess that's another reason why it was an easy read!

What I also loved about this book was how different the romance was presented. I think this is the first book I read (keep in mind I'm starting to get back into the reading book drive, so I missed out on a lot of reading throughout my school years) where there was flirting through texting and emails, something that is very similar to the real world! I personally never got into flirting with someone I've never met through texting, so it was a nice to have that perspective by reading through the emails, IM's and texts between SN and Jessie. 

One thing I do have to mention, unfortunately, is that I personally found it pretty easy to guess which character was SN. I wish there was a bit more mystery, or at least gave more options at the beginning of the book. But, towards the end, I was really routing for the character who I thought was SN to be SN anyways, so it all worked out! 

Overall, I really enjoyed reading Tell Me Three Things! I usually read library copies, and if I love it enough, I decide to buy to book. This was no exception. I got my hands on a copy the day after I finished reading my library copy. I definitely would love to read through this story again in the near future! 

Favourite Quotes:
  • "One of the worst parts about someone dying is thinking back to all those times you didn't ask the right questions, all those times you stupidly assumed you'd have all the time in the world. And this too: how all that time feels like not much time at all."
  • "Just because you're strong doesn't mean you shouldn't ask for help sometimes. Remember that."
  • "Perfect days are for people with small, realizable dreams. Or maybe for all of us, they just happen in retrospect; they're only now perfect because they contain something irrevocably lost."
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Currently in August


READING... Me Before You - Jojo Myers (just started this!)
PLAYING... nothing at the moment (I'm actually at the dentist)
WATCHING... Paw Patrol on netflix (a little girl asked to watch it here in the waiting room)
TRYING... to figure out why they told me my appointment was at 10am... and it's now 10:45 -.-
EATING... nothing, but I had a banana milkshake before coming here 
DRINKING... water... but I'm thirsty still.. might need to get some more 
CALLING... School... been on hold  
TEXTING...  Bae lol (do people still use that term?)
TWEETING... nothing... but, I'll go tweet soemthing right now 
GOING... to the gym after the dentist 
LOVING... today's hairstyle - Dutch braid
HATING... the constant heat here in Toronto 
DISCOVERING... I forgot to book my  referral appointment for my teeth 
THINKING... about how I'm gonna act/behave tonight with my "friend"
FEELING... exhausted 
HOPING (for)... everything to come in full swing 
LISTENING (to)... One Dance - Drake 
CELEBRATING... Jay is starting school next week
SMELLING... natural air? Not sure exactly lo 
ORDERING... nothing... at the moment 
THANKING... the lords the school finally answered my call
CONSIDERING... about picking up and extra shift 
STARTING... to get impatient here... still waiting... :(
FINISHING... this post, then gonna get a head start on some upcoming posts in September! Did I tell you I'm joining in a September blog challenge???

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The Way to My Heart...

I'm sure you've heard of the saying, "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach"... Does this really apply to men? I mean, I love food, and if you take me out to a restaurant that serves amazing food or take the time to make me a delicious home cooked meal, to me... you're the real deal! So, lets change up that saying a bit and directed towards me... well, everyone. 

Don't lie. 

We all love food :D


One of my main goals over the past couple of months was to lose weight... you know, the weight I've gained from all the stress eating. I just have some of those days where I am eating super healthy, and then... there are other days where, well, I consider them my "cheat" days.

But, I just can't help it if food is so yummy! 

Growing up, I used to eat my favourite foods on the daily, including a Filipino dish called palabok (thank you momma), and a Sri Lankan dish, goat curry (thank you dad!). Yes, shout out to my parents who were constantly in the kitchen fulfilling my hunger. But, yeah, like I said, I used to eat my favourites on the daily.

Over the past couple of years, I began to slowly taste different types of food, and found out how amazing other cultures can take a meat I've been eating for years and completely transform the taste. I'm not a professional foodie or whatever, but I do appreciate great tasting foods.









That's why this post is a tribute to some of my favourite dishes I ate over the summer... Am I proud of it? Kinda. YES. There were some damn good, tasty dishes!

This made me hungry... I should probably go make myself a fruit shake...

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5 minutes of Rambling


Writing everything down. For 5 minutes. Let's go. 

Is it just me or is summer going by quickly? Well, for me, it is. I sometimes feel like I am on autopilot. I wake up in the morning, do what I have to do for the day, come home, watch anything and everything on netflix, and then call it a night. The only changes in my day is whether or not I'm scheduled for work, or if I made plans to hang out with some friends and family. 

But, this summer is different. Things are different. Maybe I'm different this time around. If it was last summer, I would be obsessed with finding something fun, exciting, and adventurous to do during everyday of the summer. But, this summer, it's not quite like that.. I feel like I'm thinking more practically, or I'm just more focused on me... 

Maybe, it has something to do with the fact that I decided to go back to school in January... I want things this time around to be more meaningful. I want to have more of a purpose and a clear set out end goal. I want a career waiting for me.

But, thats not to say I'm not enjoying my summer... I like hanging out with my family. Lately I've been learning more and more about what family is. I've had the privilege of spending more and more time with my little cousins. I don't want the little ones growing up without knowing much about me or my sister. I want them to one day come to me and reminisce on stories about all the fun and crazy times they have about my sister and I. 

That would be amazing.  
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August Goals!

Guys, how is it August?? Why is time flying? I'm still here figuring out what adventures I want to go on this summer, but then I find out summer is quickly coming to an end. What on earth am I doing with my time??? And, today... is Civic Holiday? And, (kinda) don't have plans for a holiday? I'm clearly a mess. Maybe, I need to start setting clearer goals or something...
July Goals Revisted:
  1. Read a book (or two). Currently on book number 2 right now!
  2. Online course.
  3. Workout at least 3 times a week.
  4. Bring food to work. I did bring food to work, on most days.. but, there were still at least 3 times I had to buy. 
  5. Stay positive.
  6. Create a vlog.
This Month's Goals

1. Don't touch the credit card.
One of my main goals before school starts is to pay off the credit card. I feel like this is the best time to work on this goal because I am not in school, yet. Once school begins, I already know I'm going to have less shifts, and therefore have a harder time paying it off. So, better do it now. And, it will help if I don't touch the credit card. I've done it once before for 1 month. I know I can do it again in August.

2. Work.
Like I mentioned in the goal above, this is the best time to make my money. I have more shifts than I normally get during the school year. So, what I'm doing is not only trying to pay off my credit card, but I'm saving money for school. My parents helped me pay for school for the last 4 years of uni, this time, of course my parents are going to help, but I want to help as well. So, let the saving continue!

3. Keep Active.
Last month, I did more walking than usual... AND I LOVED IT. If I had the choice of driving somewhere or walking, I took the walking option. I have a phone app that counts my steps (because it's 2016 and we literally do not go anywhere without our phones). Anyways, looking back at the app, my goal was to take at least 6000 steps a day. And, looking at the chart of my steps, more than half of the month, I did take more than 6000 steps a day! So, this month, I want to keep this up! Perhaps have a goal of 10,000 steps a day? We'll see where the days take us.

4. Blog more.
I'm not sure if I am tired, or if I have no motivation, but for the past few months, I haven't been active on the blog. That really makes me sad. There was once a time where I literally wrote once a day on here - whether it has been about my day, or something interesting I found. Lately, its either I do not have an idea, or I do not have the time. Regardless, I need to step up my blogging game.

5. Watch less netflix, and read more.
Even though I watched everything I could have possibly wanted to watch on Netflix, I still have this desire to go home, lay down in my pyjamas, and just watch anything. Even if it is a repeat. I feel like my eye sight is getting worse... especially, if I'm watching TV shows/movies from my laptop. Time to give my eyes a break and read a book. I've been loving the feelings of reading books lately, so I would love to continue this!

What are your August goals?!

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