26 August 2015

I Started Journalling!

Last week I bought a notebook. It was pink with a heart and arrows on the front cover. The cover of the notebook was not exactly hard covered, but it wasn't exactly soft covered as well. It was a mixture in between, and if I knew the right word to describe it, I would have told you for sure. But, I bought the book with the intention of writing in it. 

I decided to start journalling about my life - the good, the bad, the pretty, the random... pretty much everything.

I've been watching a lot of Grey's Anatomy lately, and it got me thinking about the what if's. What if I don't remember any of my childhood/early adulthood to share stories with others in the future? What if I don't remember who I was? This journal is for me. For my future kids. For my future husband to read to me if I even lose my memory. (The Notebook much?)

I started writing it in the night I brought the book home that night. And, to much of my surprise, journalling seemed hard at first. I didn't know what to write, and I most definitely didn't know if I was writing a journal the proper way. So, I found myself on google trying to figure out if what I was doing was even right! But, few days of writing, I found that what I was writing, the way I was writing, was me. And, I didn't need google telling me how to be me.

If journalling is meant to be the uncensored version of my life; for my eyes only... I wanted the true and real effect of who I was. So, I tossed google aside, and I just wrote. 

Things I did notice, my writing was UGLY. I actually used to have beautiful writing, before the whole bring-your-laptop-to-university was a thing. I haven't done a lot of writing, so it will be very interesting to see how my writing evolves throughout the next years of journalling. 

What do I want to come out of this? I want to be able to release my thoughts and to be able to focus on the now. I noticed that whenever I wrote whatever popped up into my head, I found a relief in my mind. It was one less thing to think about while focusing on what I was suppose to do at that moment. So, I hope that this will be like a good therapeutic way to mediate and release the negative while embracing the positive. 

I am ready to take on this journey of life; and I cannot wait to re-read my adventures in the near future.

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