03 April 2014

"Forgive, but Never Forget"

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I'm sure we've all heard of this saying, forgive but never forget.  Trust me, I have... many times.  I'm literally surrounded by a group of friends who like to "be on top".  By that I mean, they want to be seen as the alpha dog, where other's will be scared to mess with them.  Not to throw them under the bus, there are reasons why I am friends with them, I am very similar in some ways.  But that isn't the point of this post. 

Especially in high school, I constantly hear people say, "Yeah sure, I will forgive, but I don't think I will ever forget."  See, this is something I never really understood.  Yes I've been backstabbed on multiple occasions from those who were never my friends, to those who I've treated like a sister. So, I know what it is like to feel hurt and pain from others... but as a Christian, I've always learnt that it is always best forgive those who have hurt us.  Isn't that what we were called to do? 
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The way I've seen it, Jesus is constantly forgives us.  The bible has many stories of Jesus forgiving others, no matter how bad the sin may be.  Like I mean, growing up, I've took those lessons to heart, and I always associated them with the modern statements of "be the bigger person".  So whenever I do something wrong, especially when I am consciously aware that it is wrong, I know He will always forgive me. 

So I never really understood why people would never forget, and just hold a grudge against someone else, when they say that they have forgiven. 
Until 4 years ago, it happened.  I was hurt so badly by people I never thought would ever hurt me.  And it sucks. Because until recently, like in January, I've finally learnt to forgive... thats 4 years later. How crazy is that?

A quick summary of what happened: My own cousins basically exposed Neisha, Ashley and I's shared secrets to their parents.  From their, my aunt took the time to go on my cousins Facebook and take pictures of Neisha, Ashley and I, with all these different people and at different events, and proceed to take the time to print multiple coupes and send them to family across the city and background. 

Although I wanted to forgive and forget... I just couldn't.  And I honestly thought it would be so much easier.  Boy was I wrong.  My own family did me so wrong, and no matter how much I wanted to forgive them, I could never look and talk to the same after that situation.  The worst part was the fact that they lied to our family when we've all confronted them... we all had to find out from the other family (long time family friends) who were involved.

It was not until recently my sister, Ashley and I wanted peace from this entire situation.  We decided that we will forgive, but we probably won't ever share intimate secrets with them ever again.  So, it is certain that I won't ever forget the hurt and pain, and disapproval from family that I've received.

But, there is something to be learnt from this. Jesus, the Song of God, has literally died on a cross for us... carrying all our sins, and later forgiving us.  He went through so much physical pain that I probably won't ever be able to handle.  But let's think about it... there is no amount of pain from the wrong anyone has down to us that could ever compare to what we have done against our God.

We are all constantly hurting each other, and it is absolutely wrong. I will say this time and time again, the way that we treat each other is the way we treat Him.  He lives among all of us, and we are all a reflection of Him.  By not forgiving, we aren't forgiving our Lord. 
Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. - 1 Peter 4:8 

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