My Realization

Today I realized that the love that I have for my JJ.  Believe it or not... I was actually beginning to doubt whether we were just a temporary thing, or something more permanent.

It all began as a bad week for him, just one bad thing happening after the next.  And honestly, it was just frustrating and its hard to keep yourself positive when nothing is going the way you want them to go... But today was different, he finally got the permanent sticker (for his license plate), and we were excited to go into the city.

Driving in two separate cars, he was following me as we were on our way towards the city.

BOOOM! Did he just hit me? I just couldn't believe it, but as I got out of my car, I realized that he got hit.... BAD.  As I slowly approached him with worry and scare, he was upset, and the first thing he said to me was "All my hard work, gone."

I guess that was just the worst thing, knowing how hard someone worked on something, like his car for almost 2 years building it and fixing it, just to see it totalled in a matter of seconds.  I didn't know what to say, I didn't know how to react .. My main concern was his back.  Having previous back problems, I just wanted to ensure his spine wasn't hurt and he was capable of movement.

Leaving out some details, the Ambulance came... that was the hard part.  Still shocked and upset from the entire situation, there he was... being pulled into the ambulance in a stretcher.... That was upsetting and it is sad to see someone you care about sooo much hurt and you can't do anything to help...

I obviously ended up following the ambulance to the hospital, where I stood by his side for literally 5 hours.  Long story short, I am just glad nothing too bad happened to him... he just has to make sure he takes it easy.

But besides this hectic situation, I realized how close I was to losing someone so important to me.  I realized that I shouldn't let little things upset me, or just ruin our day... what's the reason for that when life is so short?

I remember the entire time, he just kept saying "I'm glad I was the one who was following you, instead of having it the other way around" ... how do I even respond to that.  There's no words that can sum up the amount of love that was expressed with just that one sentence...

Today, I realized that the way I feel, is coming straight from the heart.  It is not something I portray through force... If I didn't care so much, I wouldn't have been upset to see him upset, I wouldn't have been worried seeing him in a stretcher.. and I definitely wouldn't have stayed by his side for 5 hours if I didn't care.

Take care of what and whom you love.  Treat them with love and care, and hope for the best for them.  There is no point of constantly attracting negativity to you're relationships, whether it is with your friends, family or even boyfriend or girlfriend.  Take the time to genuinely get to know everyone with the intention of wanting to know them..

It will be worth it in the end, because not everyone always gets a second chance.  Live your life now without any regrets and without hurting others... You might never know the next time you will continue to share great memories.



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